Teacher: Why are you always acting poorly? Do you think you can disrupt my class whenever you feel like it? Watch yourself!

Student: Go ahead! Do what you want! This class is stupid and nobody likes you either!

Teacher: That does it! Get down to the office, now!

Student: I hate this class and I hope I never have to come back to it!

Now, consider a different approach, one where the teacher and student don't start at a point of mutual disagreement.

Teacher: I've noticed that you're not too involved in the class. Do you think that you and I have a different view of what should be going on in here?

Student: That's for sure. I don't like this class. I wish I didn't have to be here.

Teacher: I appreciate your honesty. Would you be willing to sit down with me and see it we can come up with an idea that would make this class better for both of us, and maybe for the other kids too?

Student: Sure, but I may have some ideas you won't like.

Teacher: Maybe so, but I'd still like to hear them. Can we meet at 3:10 today?

Student: Yeah, I'll be there.

There are no quarantees, but if the problem is addressed, a solution, rather than an increased power struggle, is more likely to unfold.

• Fay, Jim and Funk, David, __Teaching with Love and Logic; Taking Control of the Classroom__, The Love and Logic Press Inc., Golden, CO. 1995. www.loveandlogic.com